I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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