Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
