Christians are straight up FREAKS
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
honey bunches of taint.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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