Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
