the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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