Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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