Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
