Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
