I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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