using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
