She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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