Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
