ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
