so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
please don't ironically join a cult
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
