I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
