Where did you get a picture of my penis
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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