ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
