I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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