and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
