you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
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I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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