Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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