i think i have herpe
just one?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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