we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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