Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
