I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
