grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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