There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
