I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
