5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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