Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
