Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize