he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
