I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
