did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
