Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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