1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
