I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Houston, we have a blender
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
