people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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