dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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