she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
