Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize