Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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