So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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