One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
