I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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