The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
