he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
