Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
