Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
