I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
