Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
