Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
