Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
