Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
