What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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