Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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