This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
