is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
