Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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