dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
