I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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