Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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