I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
